Friday, April 29, 2005

Getting to Know Becky Hirta (another episode in a very occasional series)

Hypothetical Questioner: So, Becky, I see you're wearing the skinny jeans today.

S. Rudbeckia Hirta: Yep, that I am. They're not quite as long as is the fashion these days, but other than that they fit pretty well.

HQ: What about the super-skinny jeans?

SRH: They sort of fit, but not well. They're a little tighter than I prefer.

HQ: Weren't you anorexic when you bought those?

SRH: That is a disease of teenaged girls. Besides, I've never been diagnosed with a psychiatric condition.

HQ: What about SAD?

SRH: That was a preliminary diagnosis, by a GP, and that was in Ithaca; that doesn't count.

HQ: OK, how about this: When you bought those jeans, didn't you have a BMI of 17.5, weren't sleeping, were obsessed with food, and getting no real work done despite your frenzied efforts?

SRH: It wasn't like that at all. I have a small frame. With so much more light in the summer than in the winter, of course I had trouble sleeping. And the rest of it? Again, that's just Ithaca. Besides, if there had been something wrong, wouldn't my doctor have said something? I was in the office several times that summer what with the follow-ups on the cyst and the car accident.

HQ: So, what did you do for dinner last night?

SRH: I drove around for about an hour trying to think of something to eat. Eventually I went to the grocery store and got some Boca Burgers. I had two of them.

HQ: With anything?

SRH: Just plain. I like them that way.

HQ: And so far today?

SRH: A cup of coffee and two sugar-free popsicles.

HQ: How much do you weigh?

SRH: No idea. I'm afraid to get on the scale.