Monday, November 14, 2005

Secret Messages

To my students:
If it really is true that the only time that you can possibly be advised* is during my class, then please do not show up during the middle of class to announce that this is the case and then walk out again.

To my neighbors:
What's with the hysteric threats to replace your historic wooden windows with nasty doublepane windows at a cost of thousands and thousands of dollars while harming the character of your home? Just to save a few bucks on heat? Have you considered, oh, I don't know, insulation? Last year in the coldest month of winter my utility bill (gas + electric) for my barely-insulated house with drafty windows was under $300. Even with rates going up, a well-insulated house should be pretty cheap to heat. Plus, the nice folks at Historic Zoning don't care if you put some fiberglass in your attic.

To the stack of papers on my desk:
Could you guys grade yourselves? Let me know when you're done, and I'll enter you in the gradebook.

To the weather:
I was doing so well. And then you turned bleak. Dammit.

*I don't get the whole advising thing, as I went to a fancy private college where we were issued a copy of Organizations, Regulations, and Courses and told to pick courses that would allow us to finish in 12 terms or fewer, to sign up for those courses, and to pass them. Or else. I was "advised" twice in my entire undergraduate career: once at the beginning of my freshman fall (before classes started) and once during my sophomore winter when I declared my major.