Tuesday, May 23, 2006

My Cousin's Wedding Is All About Spending Money

I am not happy about being forced (by my mother) to attend my cousin's wedding. It would have been cheaper and easier for me to hire my sister-in-law (other side of the family, not related to my cousin), a New York-based actor to pretend to be me.

I've already shelled out big bucks on airfare and lodging. Now that the wedding is coming up in under two weeks and unlikely to be called off, I decided to buy a gift: two towels from the registry, totalling $150 when you include shipping, taxes, gift box, all that. I, myself, do not own a $75 towel, but what else was I going to do, as my cousin is not the sort of person who would appreciate a Hello Kitty toaster. Of course if my cousin was the sort of person who would appreciate a Hello Kitty toaster (instead of being a humorless lawyer), I wouldn't be so irritated about being forced to attend this wedding.

And since I was already spending money, I decided to ignore the fact that I own way too many clothes appropriate for occasions more formal than teaching calculus, and I bought a dress.


I bought this dress because my mother will hate it and will be completely unable to articulate WHY she hates it. And because it is ridiculous enough that after the wedding it will join my regular rotation of silly clothes, and I will probably end up wearing it to teach calculus and to go to the grocery store.