Secret Messages: Graduating Senior Edition

1. If you've spent any time around this campus, the rumor mill should have told you that Professor Ångstrom sounds like the Swedish Chef when he talks ("Fonktion, fonktion, bork bork bork!"), that Professor Asperger is stingy with partial credit (and inflicts his harsh tardy policy on anyone who is even a few seconds late to class), and that Professor Montessori's class is not particularly well-structured. None of this is a secret. Coming up with a bogus excuse to get you out of one of these sections will not sway me.


2. When the math department posts the schedule of who is teaching what and when, it usually doesn't change very much from the beginning of registration until the first day of classes.


3. Graduating seniors have very high priority in registration. They come next after grad students and the honors program. I can assure you that very, very few honors students sign up for the class that you're trying to get into.


4. Freshmen who barely passed half their classes and who are on academic probation found their way into Professor Wonderful's section of introductory math. These are students who come in dead last in registration priority and who aren't particularly with-it.


5. I happen to know that our enrollment numbers were very, very, very low during most of the registration period. We worried that we'd have to lay off some adjuncts. The class that you want did not fill up until about two days before classes started.


6. And why did you put off your freshman-level gen-ed math courses until your last semester?