Rubbing Salt in the Wound

On Monday I was planning on giving my calculus class The Talk. The one where I explain that if you came to this university to get a good education, then you need to wake up to the reality that getting a good education means learning a lot. You know the spiel.

Then I was going to say that if you came here for football and partying, that considering the way that football has been going this year, I hope that you've been to some really good parties.

But now, it seems, that is too cruel to say. Today we lost again. A crushing, embarrassing loss. I'm starting to suspect that we might be capable of losing to football teams from all-girls high schools.