You Don't Want to Ask Me About Statistics

Today around noon I was sitting in my office minding my own business and eating my lunch. A student who I have never met before comes to my door and explains that her math teacher doesn't have office hours right now, but she's looking for help with statistics, so could I help her?

I explained that I was busy and that I don't teach statistics.

What I should be doing now: Learning enough about ANOVA to fake my way through the statistics exam this afternoon.